define modesty
So what is everyone's definition of modesty?

Well, I suppose there are as many definitions for modesty as there are people. The online dictionary (Answers.com) says: 1. The state or quality of being modest. 2. Reserve or propriety in speech, dress, or behavior. 3. Lack of pretentiousness; simplicity. For my family, and for most of our friends, modesty is not showing the human form in detail. No, this does not mean I wear a sack or a mumu, but they are not tight or form fitting either. I have found that two layers on the top and a full skirt "hides" my curves well. I am not a small woman, so I have more of a silouette then others. I wear both dresses with vests and jumpers. And I prefer them long, somewhere between mid-calf and ankle length (abt. 52"). And I don't wear real bright colors, like hot pink. Unfortunatly, the Bible is not black and white about what modesty means. In fact, the word "modest" is only mentioned twice in the NT: Titus 2 (chaste) and 1 Timothy 2:9. I do believe that if you truly want to dress as becoming to a woman of God, then He will guide you to what is appropriate and what is not. Sometimes that is in the form of other people, as was our case. Sometimes it is the Holy Spirit "telling" you that something is not right. And sometimes it is our husbands or fathers who tell us if something is imodest or not. For who better to tell us how we look to other men, then the men in our lives? Men look on the outside, how a woman looks, more then women do. And what they see with their eyes stimulates them. We, as women, shouldn't dress in a way that can cause a man to stumble. For Jesus says in Matthew 5:28 "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." I believe we must be careful not to attract this kind of attention from men. That's not to say they are not responsible for themselves, because they are. But we are responsible for how we present ourselves. And I beleive that if we dress in a way that doesn't show our curves/form, then men are less likely to look lustfully upon us. While this "style" works for our family and others that we know, I think there are slightly various form of modesty. While I couldn't in good concience wear the dresses from, say Jennie Chancy's website, I don't think they are imodest in any way. Obviously, if you are wearing something that looks like you were poured into it, that is not modest. There is no rule book on what is Godly apparell and what is not (I wish there was!). But I think the most important 2 questions to ask ourselves, with this issue and with everything else in our lives, are: Will this bring glory to God? and Who will people see, me or God? I hope this helps or at least answers your question. Jennfier

Thank you Jennifer for your answer. I agree with so much of what you are saying. Thank goodness our Heavenly Father has given us the great blessing of prayer so that we can have added direction. My next question to you would be....My husband absolutely agrees with some degree of modesty but not as much as I do. For example we don't wear anything tight or low cut, our shorts and skirts do not go above the knee, and sleeveless is not allowed. Do you have any suggestions on how to handle the gap in ideas or should I just go forth and be a good example. Jennifer

Hmm...I must admit, this type of situation can get hairy sometimes. When we have convictions that our husbands do not can make things hard. My suggestions to you would be first to pray about it. We can't change the hearts of our husbands, but He can. If you feel convicted to dress a certain way, and your husband doesn't mind or doesn't tell you that you can not, I don't think it would be wrong to do so. ~ This is where the practice of submission can get very difficult and a bit muddied ~ If the way he wants you to dress is not imodest and you can in good concience dress that way, then I think you should submit. But, if that way of dressing pricks your concience and you feel that it is not following what God comands us to do, dress modestly according to that of a Godly woman, it would be wise to talk to your husband about it. And perhaps seek the councel of an older woman who herself lives with these guidlines. Beyond that, you need to proceed however the Holy Spirit leads you. I know for me, I love wearing skirts. But my husband doesn't, so I don't wear them...much. :roll: And I love the color red! But, again, my husband hates that color. So I have no red clothes anymore. :cry: There have been a few peices of clothing that I have adored, but he said "absolutly not!". And so they haven't seen the light of day, at least on me they haven't. I think it's very imortant that we live out our husbands convictions as much as possible. As long as they don't ask/demand us to do something that is against what God says. Like if your husband asks/tells you to wear a skirt 5" above your knees, I do believe you would need to obey God and NOT your husband (but, thankfully, this is not your case). Anyway, I hope this has helped some and not confused you. Please pray about this. Sometimes these things can start small, but grow into something ugly. Hopfully, your husband won't mind the "extra" modesty that you desire. Jennifer

I think the various views of what is modest or not is very interesting. To me personally modesty is not exposing the private parts of your body and not wearing clothes that are intended to be sexually attactive. For me that means no exposed cleavage, no short shorts or short skirts, no thin, see-through or form fitting clothes (belly button shirts, low rise jeans, mini skirts and so on). Femininity is another topic. I think a woman should dress like a women. I don't think pants are Biblically forbidden as people, men or women, didn't wear pants back when the Bible was written but people were instructed not to cross dress. A pair of pants can be of a loose femine cut and I like to wear nice pretty feminine tops. I prefer to wear dresses or skirts as much as possible myself but do sometimes wear pants. I live on a farm and sometimes farm work requires me to wear pants. Just try herding cattle, bucking hay bales or driving a tractor in a dress. Not safe!! I prefer "happy" colors and lovely styles over plain. (I love Sense and Sensibility Patterns myself) My husband leaves the colors and styles up to me because he says "you have to wear it not me". I like dresses ankle or mid calf length. I like my hair long and styled pretty. My oldest daughter prefers hers shorter (not guy short but shorter) and looks more feminine in that style than when her hair is long. She is 16. At any rate, I think God calls each of us in a different way. Thanks for sharing and for bringing up the topic. God bless you.

I am very conservative in the way I dress, and I am as feminine as possible, without "over-doing" it. But I think modesty has to do with so much more than just your clothing! Off the top of my head, I can think of a girl I went to school with. She always dressed modestly, because that's the what her parents required. But everything about her...the way she walked, held her eyes, talked, moved her hands, EVERYTHING....said completely opposite of what her dress was saying. I think I would rather "hang out" with a girl who did not dress modestly, but acted modestly...than with the opposite. It all comes down to a matter of what is in your heart...and that's where it has to start.